Destroy what destroys you.

I do have proud of myself. There are so many people who thought and said I wouldn’t be here right now. They just haven’t consider that I could get over all the crap and put a real smile upon my face. Just like I was already dead and everything was a question of time. They did ignore my feelings, my ideas, what I told them and even more, a list of things I can’t force myself to remember. But, do you know about what I am more proud of? I was one of those who didn’t believe me. Actually, I was the one who intend to kill myself. And now I see things in such a different way – it’s not that everything has changed and are full of joy, magnificent things and bad things can’t touch me – the truly and cruel opposite: things still geting worse but I’m getting better with dealing with them and learning how to don’t let them break me in a unchangeable way. I have been trying to enjoy my own company, becoming a person that I’m confort with, I’m putting my expectations down – and this doesn’t mean I’m putting my deffences in the hightest point so I’ll be unreachable from the bad guys. Not. I’m letting myself have mistakes as experiences that will only make good to me if I see them as lessons and not poison being inject in my veins. I want to learn. I want to grow. I wanna be upon my feets with confidence enought to tell them: bring it! I can take this. I’ll survive and I’m only getting better, not bitter.
Ps. Friendship still being something that confuses and scares me more everyday.


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